October 15, 2015
“I will go before thee, and make the crooked places straight: I will break in pieces the gates of brass, and cut in sunder the bars of iron.
“And I will give thee the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places, that thou mayest know that I the Lord, which call thee by thy name, am the God of Israel.”
Wow! This is my Lord’s promise to His chosen, His servants, those He knows and who know Him! I worry incessantly about messing up God’s will for me, or somebody else messing up God’s will for me. I worry that if I go to Bible college I might miss marrying someone not at college; I worry that the person I want or think I want may go on with his life, not wait for me. I worry that I might go to the wrong college, pick the wrong course, set the wrong priorities there and miserably fail it all. But hey! GOD IS IN CONTROL! People who hear this the most think about it the least. I know I am in His hands, yet I insist on worrying lest I tip out of them! As if He isn’t big enough! If I am faithful, willing to give up all those particular portions of my future I hold most dear, He will give me His treasures—His riches—His secrets and mysteries. It may have to be a swap. My security for His security. But, knowing Him, it will be worth it.
This is a journal entry I wrote almost a year ago. I thank the Lord for how He has worked in my heart since then, teaching me to trust Him, leading me to take the step in front of me though I may not see where it goes. I thank Him for going before me as He promised, making so many crooked places straight and breaking in pieces countless gates and bars I thought were impenetrable. Moments of anxiety do squeeze in now and again. Bewilderments do occur when paths I expected to end a certain way only branch onto other paths more confusing than the last. Nevertheless, my Lord has proven He is entirely capable of writing my script and planning my journey. I have learned that His ways, even when they do not match my expectations, are so much better than mine.
I will be going to Bible college in a few weeks, Lord willing. My choice of major to study may shape the rest of my life; it might not. I may meet my future spouse there; I may not. It’s possible that I could work at an amazing job; but then, I might not. Yet these are not things I need to worry about at this point. Whatever happens, whomever I meet or don’t, wherever this takes me, I know God has led me to this place as my next step. And if this is of Him, I don’t have to stress over what to do with the details. Just step forward into His will and trust Him to guide me into what is best.
1 Corinthians 2:9 “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”